Jamie and I went yesterday to my pre-op,  more of the same stuff. We had to be there for 9 am. We were there a little early. One of the good things about breaking my pelvis was that my doctor gave me a pass to park in handicap. It has been so nice to have all through theses appointments because we always have VIP parking. But man is it expensive to park at hospitals. Anyway. We got a quick coffee/tea and headed up to my appointment. 

First things first they need me to spell my name first last middle, and give my date of birth. Which I did about 6 times throught this whole ordeal. I now have a binder…. A large binder of my life in a nut shell just in the last year.   This binder will be like my bible through my surgery. First of all they went over all my meds that I take now. I had brought a list as per the list I got of things to bring with me to pre-op.  But they already had my whole list and amounts, then asked when I started the allergy eye drops. I didn’t have that on my list. ( who know this was going to be important to have your breasts removed) then I went for a EKG. There was a knock on the door a nurse said someone was there to see me, a guest. I said ME. I looked at Jamie and said who knows I am here?  It was my sister Cathy coming for support for both Jamie and me, because poor Jamie has hauled me to every test every doctor appointment , every where I have needed to be. And he needed that hug too. Thanks  Sis ❤️

Then came a nurse with about 10 pages of stuff to go through. Going over my health history and telling me what to expect. ( I expect to have my breasts removed). We went through so much stuff my head was spinning. Then another stop the anethasist I wanted to tell him how sick I was in May after surgery. ( my breast cancer Doctior said he can change things up and I shouldn’t get so sick again) but he says oh yea lots of people get sick. It happens. REALLY !! He did agree to give me extra anti-nausea meds that should help. Hears hoping. Jamie had to go put more money in the parking so Cathy came with me to do blood work and register at admitting. Why admitting didn’t know I was coming confused me. I have a LARGE binder telling everything about me. But admitting dosent know I am coming. Whatever!!  Cathy and I head down stairs to where we hope Jamie is. He is in his glory there are some little kids  ( he loves all children) he was knee deep talking and playing with them. Happy as hell. Best part of his day After about 4 hours we are finally done and off to lunch we go. That was the best part of my day. 

I am trying hard to be strong and not cry to much. But I didn’t realize until tonight how emotional I really am. We were watching the finally of survivor and the young man who won, his Mom was sick with cancer and died only hours after he came home. It was heartbreaking to listen to him telling the story of how much he loved her and how he wanted her to know he had won. Then he donated a portion of his winnings to cancer. I was crying my head off the ugly cry sniffing and all. It was very heart warming. A young man like that doing some good and loving his Mom so very much 

I am pretty sure my son Mac is following me on my blog.  This is for him. I know Mac how much you love me too. I feel it every day from you. We never have a conversation where he dosent tell me he loves me. Or I tell him.  We have a very special Mother Son bond and I would not change it for the world. Thanks Mac for letting me be your Mom. I am the luckiescMom ever ❤️❤️

Back to this cancer stuff. Besides my emotions being all over the place. My mind is too, as my blog is probably letting everyone know. It surprises me how everything can be so normal then something happens and I feel like I ran into a brick wall. I went for lunch today with some girlfriends…thanks so much to them for taking me out today. I really get so wrapped up in my  cancer life I forget all the stuff going on outside of my four walls. We went shopping at Londonderry Mall and I even got some Christmas gifts bought. I was not sure when I was going shopping. And with surgery on Monday I am running out of time. We had lunch at Tony Roma’s. It wS such a nice girls day. Thank you Julie and Lyla. I am truly learning who my true lifelong friends are. Friends who have been here for me and Jamie. My friends are really helping to make this journey bearable. 

One last thought……….I’m Not A Princess, I don’t need saving……….I’m a Queen, I got this shit nailed!

Beth😇