January 10/2017 

Finally I seem to have my pain under control again. Although my surgeon dosen’t want me to take to much pain meds. My family doctor says if you need it take it. It is not a long term thing so go ahead. I have decided to take the advice of my family doctor.  I think this goes back to my perm blog.  My surgeon might just need a mastectomy !!! 

I actually have some energy back too. I decided to do a little cleaning yesterday. To get a couple of bags of stuff for goodwill. I went through my closet and got rid of some old tops and a few skimpy ones that I will probably not be able to wear again.  Then I cleaned out my bra drawer.   That actually was a little harder. I don’t think I will ever wear those kind of bras again so I though maybe someone could use them. Because I don’t think I will do reconstructive surgery for a while…if ever. Out with the old in with the new. 

I loved the idea of my  shall so much I have decided to make a few. I already have one done. I feel so cozy wrapped up in it at night. It is like a big hug every night. I just love it. 

I saw a saying on Facebook today it said. “I wish my Mom was here I would like to talk to her”. It really made me think. I miss my Mom all the time, everyday ! I wonder what she would be saying to me? I know she would tell me to fight this with all I have, and that is just what I plan to do. But it also made me think about the other side of this. That we should say the things to our family and friends that we don’t say enough. Life is short and when you get diagnosed with diseases like this you absolutely face the fact of death. We all know we are going to die. Just not when. We need to say the things on our mind. Tell our loved ones our thoughts. Don’t let time go by without talking to someone we love. I have done a lot of things to prepare like I would never have done before this diagnosis. The thing is that now I have been give that opportunity to do those things, to say the things I might have just thought everyone knew. I put things in order and made plans for where I want things to go and to who. I have this large cabinet full of Angels that I have collected since BJ died, and Mac told me not to leave any of it to him he dosent want it, and dosen’t want to get rid of it all either.  Lol lol So I have my niece Danielle in charge of that. ( thanks Danielle). It will be a big job. Anyway my thoughts are that we should do this stuff before we are sick or before we know we could die. So it isn’t such a burden on those we leave behind. I know that now..

I finally talked to my surgeon yesterday she did apologize for not talking to me Friday. I told her I got my meds from my family doctor. She said ok that’s great. Really !!! That is great, lucky my family doctor knows me so well and had no problem filling that prescription. Anyway …… We got my pathology back, my surgeon is pretty sure they got all of the breast cancer. She removed 14 lymph nodes and 5 were cancerous. So my cancer was grade 2 stage 2  HR negative ductal carcinoma. Wow ! a long term for breast cancer. Now my results are sent to the cross cancer and they set up an appointment for me to get started on chemo. The next part of my journey. Although I am not to excited about this part I know it is a means to an end. I look ahead to being cancer free. Out with the old me and in with the new me. 

Beth 😇