February 20/2017 

It has now been two months since I had my surgery and one week since chemo. I didn’t like either one. I am still amazed at what we do to our bodies with a surgery like I had. Then come through it and now to get on with my life. Chemo has put my life at a standstill, even my oncologist told me the next of my year my life will not be the same. Boy oh boy was she ever right. 

I am struggling with the nauseous it seems to consume me at different times of the day. They told me it would be hard but it is really hard. Mornings are the worst. Especially if I do sleep through a pill time. Takes me right back to when I was pregnant with morning sickness 36 years later. Then every once in a while I have a really good spell maybe 2 hours or so and I can get things done. But the good spells are short lived. Hopefully if I follow the protocol this should only last until Thursday and then I should have a good week before I go back for round two. 

I miss Jamie so much but I thank God I only have to take care of myself right now. I would find it hard to be doing all my household chores daily, taking care of kids would be torture. I feel for any woman going through this and trying to run a family. I tip my hat to all of you. 

Chemo also wreaks havoc with your taste buds. Things just don’t taste the same. Even water tastes terrible. I am supposed to drink 8 cups a day to flush my kidney. So they say. I have mixed everything possible in my water to make it a better flavour. I am now drinking iced tea. So far so good. I know I need food, but everything tastes so weird. I even look at my food sometimes to see if I am eating what I thought I was. Sometimes I am, sometimes I am not. Lol lol 

I am also on the count down for hair loss. They told me at the cross that I will loose it 12 days after my first chemo. That works out to be Saturday. I have decided to cut it off myself that day. After all I am a hairdresser. I am having a little get together with my sisters and we will let the clippers do their magic. I have no idea how I will look bald. But I think I am to far in this process to worry about that now. I have a few sore spots on my head already not sure if that is from the chemo or what. But I hope they go away before I shave my head. If it is the chemo coming out of my pours in my head, that is very scary. What is it doing to my brain ?

The brain?? Well that is fuzzy. Feels weird sometimes too, like I am walking around in a fog. I try to shake it off but I can’t. So I just sit calmly and wait for it to pass, it always has I hope it continues to. I did read about the brain fog but it feels much weirder than they told me it would. 

So who are they?  I use that a lot I can see. “They” are a whole bunch of people in my life from my family,and friends, my  doctors, the nurses,to all the  wonderful people at the cross. They are all now part of my journey with breast cancer. I know that without all of them I would never get through this difficult process. So I thank all my “They’s” out there. Tomorrow is another day and thank you God for giving it to me. 

My little saying for today : God has a purpose for the pain, A reasons or your struggles, And a gift for your faithfulness, Don’t ever give up. Amen 

Beth 😇