April 9/2017 

I am feeling the results of the chemo again. Definatley not feeling well. The taste of burnt tires is really wearing on me. I think it is getting worse each time. The taste is so awful I can’t stand the taste or smell of anything. I even feel the smell of the chemo drugs coming from my pours. It is so so gross.  My next three rounds are supposed to be a different concoction, I sure hope this is one side effect that goes away. Chemo sucks !

I am really getting weaker and weaker. I can tell myself, I can’t seem to do much and I get the shakes. It is a terrible feeling, because they are from the inside. You can’t really see the shakes but I feel them. I need to try to go out a little bit everyday this week. That’s my goal. Jamie will be happy to hear this. Now let’s hope I can do it. Did I say chemo sucks?

I am spending most of my days sitting on my glider rocking chair, I have come to think that this rocking is what is keeping me from going crazy. I think the rocking makes me have to do something all the time, it keeps me from thinking about feeling so terrible and from thinking about this awful taste in my mouth. It is like my crutch, I think right now I really need this crutch. I know I said it but, chemo sucks !

As you can probably see from my talking I am a little down these days, try as I might to be tough, this chemo is getting to me. I just hit a wall today, I cried when both my sisters called and came by. I have been on the verge of tears for two days now. Not a place I like to be or want to be. But ” CHEMO” sucks. 

Then this happened today,  the nicest thing. Kelly sent Jamie a message this morning telling him not to cook supper for his wife tonight. That supper would be brought to us at 6. So just around 6 Lyla sent ( by way of her beautiful daughter and grandaughter) us a turkey/ ham dinner with all the fixings, supper even including a salad and fresh buns. It was so nice, Jamie didn’t have to cook tonight. ( supper is getting pretty sparce with me cooking)  thank you so much to you guys for doing this we are lucky to have such great friends, it means the world to us. ❤️❤️ 
Tomorrow is my second week after round three of chemo.  I am hoping to start feeling better and to start to get somewhat of my life back. My doctor told me on the day that I had breast cancer for sure that my life would not be mine for the next year. Boy oh boy was that ever the truth I had no idea. Cancer/Chemo sucks. 

Today’s saying: I miss me, The old me, The happy me, The bright me, The smiling me, The laughing me, The gone me…………….. Yes I do 😘

Beth 😇