October 22/2017 

A Sunday night in Fort St John. I sit here alone watching TV, catching up on all my shows. Poor Jamie is already off to bed. The job is nearing the end and the guys are putting in long hours he is just exhausted. He actually got home early today but he needed that time to catch up on rest. He had a two our sleep, got up in time to eat supper watched a little TV then off to bed. Every night he asks me to come to bed with him just so we can spend a little more time together, but in 10 minutes he is sleeping anyway. Usually holding my hand or just cuddling. Then I get up and watch TV and chrochet. Because going to bed to sleep at 7 pm is just to early for me. Lol lol   He is a very hard working man and the stress on him this year is really showing. I know my health has been hard for him to take. He is the type of guy who wants to fix things and make it better for me, but this cancer he can not fix, and I see it taking a toil on him. Cancer affects a whole family not just the person who has it. It breaks my heart to see him working so hard and staying so positive, I just hope we continue to have good news. We both have so much to do in life yet. My heart will forever belong to him. I love you Babe ❤️❤️ my hero 

My other hero is my son Mac. He has been so strong and so positive. He tells me all the time ” We got this Mom”. He comes over every night for supper, it is the least I can do is make supper for him, for both him and his Dad every night. He has always found time to spend with me, we have a very close relationship and it means the world to me. I get for sure a call every morning just to see how I am feeling, and most afternoons too. He has been nothing but positive for me throught the kidney cancer and the breast cancer. Always upbeat and looking to the future to be nothing but good health. I get my strength from him. I want to be healthy for him too, because I know he needs me. 😘 

Mac’s girlfriend Jolee has given me the greatest gift, never ever being jealous of the time Mac has spent with me. Never making him feel guilty for spending time with me. She always lets the grandkids call me when she has them, so they can see me and send their love. Even when I was really sick she explained to them about what I was going through and helped them to understand cancer,  and that I was going to be ok. Even if I was very sick and bald, she helped them understand and not be scared. Mac found a real treasure in Jolee and I thank God they have found each other and she is now a part of my family. I love you too Jolee 😘

Gordon has found a new love in his life and I am so happy for him. I hope that after a lot of searching that maybe she might be the one. After a few years of finding his way he has finally come back to us, he is much happier now and I hope that stays. He too has phoned me and checked in on me all in his own way. I love you too Gordon ❤️

The rest of my family has also been there for me. I know how hard my cancer has been for my Dad. Because I know as a parent it is so hard to see your child sick or in pain of any kind. He calls every couple of Days just to check in and be sure I am ok. I love my Dad for caring so much.When I got sisters God gave me the best, they have both dropped everything to be there for me, and I want them to know, I thank them from the bottom of heart for giving up family time with their families for me.  Taking me to appointments, running me back and forth to the airport, time together in Mexico, just a cup of tea in the evening at my house, when I was alone and Jamie was away at work. Then I come to my brother in-laws, who have given up their time with my sisters so that my sisters could come spend time with me at my house, when I was so sick during chemo, and home alone.  Also my nieces and nephew wow, they too have all been God sent to me, helping me in ways and doing things for me, I do not know how I will ever be able to pay my family back. From helping me with my blog (Lindsay)  to being my own private travel agent ( Danielle). Giving up time with their Mom’s so I could have them. Thank you just dosent seem to be enough, but for now that is all I have. I love you all, and I hope someday I can pay you all back with the same love you have given to me ❤️

I am feeling much better after my treatments in Mexico, and I hope and I pray that I stay feeling good. But once you have been throught the cancers and the treatments I have. You are a changed person. You see life and death up close. Unfortunately I have seen this once before in my life too. When my precious Son BJ died. I never wanted to see it again but here I am 22 years later facing it all over again. It scares me and yet somehow it gives me peace. For I know I will face death knowing that I have, someone special waiting for me on the other side. I am not ready to go there yet, but when I do I will be at peace. I pray that I won’t be scared. And I thank God for the family he put me into. How lucky I have been. 

I love you all 

Beth 😇

Today’s saying : The best kind of people are the ones that come into your life, and makes you see the sun where you once saw clouds.  The people that believe in you so much you start to believe in you too. The people that love you simply for being you the once in a lifetime kind of people.     ” FAMILY”