The days are getting nicer and now with the time change daylight is later. I love spring the most of all seasons. it is anticipation of beautiful summer to come. The first smells of spring, of going out without coats and boots. The sun seems so much brighter, I love it. 🌞

This year I am so ready to enjoy spring and summer. After my long rough year last year. Having cancer twice, going through all that entailed. Chemo, surgery, healing and grief of yet another round of cancer. I am not going to lie here. I had some tough days through this last bout of cancer. Some feeling sorry for myself. But I realized that gets me no where. So I said “Beth” suck it up and move on. I did my best and I look back now I say well I did it again. I found a saying that I felt said everything I was thinking. This is it : A strong woman didn’t become strong overnight. She became strong by overcoming all the things that were meant to destroy her………………….I have had more than my share of things to try and destroy me. 🤬

I am still dealing with the swelling of my left arm. I have had all the tests CT, Pet scan, MRI, ultra sounds of veins and arteries, X~rays. Still nobody seems to know why it is still swelling up. My left arm is now noticeably larger than my right, and my hand is swollen all the time. I have not had my wedding ring on since October after not taking them off for 45 years. I do have lymphedema but I always had it under control. If that is what it is. I have taken a turn for the worse. I have also done the wraps through the cross. I HATED that. I won’t do that again. And it didn’t do anything except leave me with one arm for weeks on end. Sometimes I think your just a Ginny pig in some of these ideas. I am done with the Ginny pig ideas now as well. Moving forward I am going to take charge and make my own decisions. Not let someone not living in my body tell me what’s best. I feel these people doing this stuff to us patients need to go home with some of these stupid ideas on themselves. Just see how hard and uncomfortable these ideas are. Then I had to get a special arm and hand sleeve made to wear full time. 24 hours a day. The government pays 70% my cost was $175.00. I was shocked at the price $525.00. And it has not helped at all either. And only having one it gets so dirty I need to was daily, so I wear the old ones I had, they work just as good. I don’t get it 🤷‍♀️ frustrating.

Jamie has not had a job in a year now. ( except for 3 weeks in BC last summer I don’t count that lol ) So I guess we are in retirement mode spending lots of time together. Day and night, lots of mini series on Netflix. Jamie took me to all my appointments and sat through all my chemo, then took care of me when I was so sick through chemo. These times test a marriage and a relationship to its max. I am so lucky to have him by my side through thick and thin. I know that our marriage has been tested more than many, but I am so proud we have come through the other side with flying Colours. Ok maybe limped through with a cane up hill in a winter storm with no shoes and a light sweater. But we have made it this far and I am not giving up I know Jamie won’t either. So on we go hand in hand. ❤️❤️

I am heading on to Tijuana in May for a check up with my doctor there. Need to fill a few prescriptions and I always feel better after my doctor there Dr Castillo checks me out. Hopefully we find no more cancer and I get a clean bill of health. Although I do know that a clean bill of health is not in the cards for me anymore. But I will take at least my cancer is not active. That will work for now. I need to be realistic so that the crashes are not so hard. My Dr here told me to look forward not back and to keep a positive attitude even with bad news. ( Easy for him to say ) but really it is true. 🧐

Lastly my hair is finally growing back. Maybe about 1/2 an inch long now. I can actually mess it up a little. A very little but again take the win . Lol lol I have much more gray this time and no curl. Last time it came back really curly it was kind of fun for a bit. Now it is straight and gray. I have been looking at hairstyles on Pinterest of how I want to grow it and style it. I have lots of hope. I run into people who have not seen me in a while they say oh your hair is growing fast. I am like “NO” it’s not. I cut the falling out mess on my birthday in September. The 17th to be exact. So no no it is not growing fast to me. 🧑🏻‍🦲

Todays sayings : I don’t want to forget; I want to be okay with remembering.

Another : kindness is the language the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

One more : You are the artist of your life. Don’t give the paintbrush to anyone else.

Beth 😇