February 14/2017

Today was the first day of chemo. I can’t lie pretty scary. Even more scary walking into the cross and saying I am here for my first round of chemo. We were sent immediately to the fourth floor, the nurse fondly referred to it as the penthouse suite. Not really what I thought. I got there a little early then waited for about 45 minutes. Everything is hurry up and wait. The nurse finally came to get us,and get this she said….do you know why you are here?  Cathy and I looked at each other in disbelief. I actually felt a little fear. Cathy said well I hope you know why we are here. It broke the ice. !!!!!

We got off the elevator and walked around the corner, I saw the big lazy boy chairs with the intervenious bags hanging. It reminded me of the movies when you see chemo patients in those rooms. Yes my friends it is just like the movies. Lots of people there because they have to be not because they want to be. Then came my chemo cocktail, “wow” were those needles ever large. First of all I got 5 push needles. That is where the nurse sits with you and pushes the drugs into the intervenious. Then a bag of some other concoction that was just a drip intervenious.  All in all about 2 hours, not to bad.  

One of the really nice things, they give you nice warm blanket. And we had those really nice volunteers come around with coffee, tea, and cookies today again. Always with a smile and so pleasant. Then we had a lady who came around, she was there with a man getting some kind of chemo cocktail too. She gave us all a valentine heart candy,some people are just so nice. In a place that does not feel like a nice place you want to be. I did get a nice box of chocolates and a mug with two love birds on it from my valentine today. ( thanks Jamie) courtesy of Cathy doing his shopping. But I loved it. Not sure when I can eat those chocolates though. The nausea has set in pretty good already today. The nurse told me I would have at least three days of grace before it set in, but looks like I won’t get that lucky. 

They have decided to put a port in me because they say that this cocktail I am on is hard on your veins so the port will be better. They also can’t use my left arm because of the  breast cancer, and lymph nodes cancer, have comprimised that arm for now. So now the next step get a port in. When?  Well that is to be determined when they find time to fit me in somewhere before my next chemo treatment. 

A little bit of back info now, stuff I forgot to put down last week. When I saw the oncologist last week I spoke to her about the lump undear my right arm. First of all she said so sorry you got that. We call that dogs ears? I was like what ? Yes really it looks like a dogs ear under my arm. They are going to get me in to have surgery to remove that. It is pretty ugly, although I hate to have more surgery I really don’t want a dogs ear under my arm. So that is my next fix. Hopefully before summer because it shows in short sleeve tops. One more mistake if I do say so myself. 😡

I also had to fill out a questionnaire on Friday, asking me all about my experience at the cross. So far I found it very positive. Except for a few things. But this questionnaire was a trick one because after the questions about the the cross. I had to answer questions about me, Iike are you feeling stressed’ are you worried about yourself, are you anxious about your cancer and treatment, are you scared, like really who is not going to say yes to all those questions. But I was smarter than that, I told Cathy I am not going to say yes to any of those questions or they will be setting me up with a psychologist, like I am over anxious or depressed or something crazy like that. Really? I am not going there, but a part of me wonders what happens when you do answer yes. Lol lol

My little saying for today. It is so perfect for me especially today. 

And I’ll rise up, I’ll rise up like the day. I’ll rise up, I’ll rise up unafraid…..

Beth 😇