February 28/2017 

Today it started. Yup it sure did. Just a little bit this morning, a little more this afternoon. Tonight I can’t even touch it. That’s my hair !!!!! Coming out in clumps. But I have decided to wait and shave it tomorrow with both my sisters here. I hope it dosent get all over my pillow tonight.  I guess I’ll just wait and see. Tomorrow is the day. Hair gone. 

I am still having trouble with my restless legs at night. It is going to drive me stark raving mad, if I don’t get this under control soon. I have tried ever little trick I know. Nothing, nothing is working. The walking around all night is also driving me nuts. I am starting to think that maybe the chemo drugs are making it worse. I can’t find it in any thing i have read or I looked up. Although I have read that lots of women going through breast cancer and treatment do get restless legs. I have had restless legs for years, but right now it feels like restless legs on steroids. I can’t even sit. I walk around for about 3 to 4 hours every night. Needless to say I am now sleep deprived. It is a vicious circle. 

I went to the funeral today of our friend that died. If a funeral can be nice, this one was. I was in Awww at the children who gave the eulogy, they did such an amazing job. They are such a wonderful family. I pray to God they all get through theses next few days and weeks with as little pain as possible. I know only to well the pain of the first few months, as you learn to navigate your “new” life without your loved one.  Time does not heal, it only teaches you how to live with the pain. ❤️

I finally got my appointment to get my port in. I go Friday back to the cross to get it. Another appointment another 3 pr 4 hours. I hope it goes well. ” they “tell me it is going to be a good thing, less painful for the chemo. Just one more thing to take care of. I don’t know much about these ports. I guess I am about to learn. 

My emotions are all over the place these days. I cry at the drop of a hat. ( that’s a stupid saying. I have not cried at the drop of any hat I have t even dropped a hat )  I think it has to do with the restless legs and lack of sleep. Although I guess I have to have a few bad days so that I recognize the good ones. The hair falling out too. I have never even wore my hair really short. EVER. Now I am going to be bald. A hard pill to swallow. I know that it is just another part of the journey. I also know I can do this. A few tears won’t stop me from getting through this and being cancer free. I know my tears make everyone else feel bad, that is the hardest part for me. I don’t want pity, I want all my family and friends to know. I Got This. 

So on to tomorrow, another day in my journey. I am 2 weeks into my 18 weeks. So bring it on. I can do this.  At The End Of The Day. It Is What It Is. 

Beth 😇