March 3/2017 

Cancer sucks.  Just in case I have never said that before !! Another day spent at the Cross Cancer. I know my way around their like a old pro now. I even fit in better each time I go there, now I have no hair and a little funny hat like many many people walking around do. Not sure I wanted to fit in. But yup I sure do. 

Today was port day.  It sounded like a pretty simple little thing when I was first told about it. More lies. Lol Checked in with my red card and got my green paper, these two steps are very important at the cross. You can’t do anything without your red card, and you can’t go anywhere without the green paper. Then the hospital lingerie, beautiful blue, that never changes. Funny thing happened today though. We say a man come out with a size small house coat on instead of the gown, didn’t fit at all, his big old hairy tummy was sticking out and he didn’t even care, but we got a kick out of it.

Anyway off to X-Ray,there a nurse explained to me what this whole port thing was about. I was questioning myself……do I really need this? It sound like it is going to hurt. She explained it all with pictures and the actual device they put into you,then she told me the risks….like you could get a blood clot and ” die”. Yup I said “die”so like what is the rate of people who die I asked? Oh that probably won’t happen she said. Easy for her to say I thought …

I was not aloud to eat since early this morning so now I am also hungry and worried. Finally they take me in. They do the procedure on a x-Ray table, everyone knows how comfortable those are (NOT), they get me all ready then put a green sterile cloth over my face with stick stuff on it so it sticks to my face, now I am chlosterphobic too. Finally they lift it up I am like under a tent. Except it is stuck to the side of my face. I thought oh the kids would like this. Funny the weird thoughts you get. The procedure only took about 45 minutes, or so they told me no clock anywhere and I had no clue on time. But it was a little rough I must say she was pushing me and moving me on that skinny little bed I was afraid I might fall off. Finally it was done my reward a juice box ( not cold ) of Apple juice. So now the tent made sence. Lol lol 

Then off to recovery, right where I went for chemo 2 weeks ago. I have to wait one hour to see how I am feeling. Truth is I am feeling like I want to go home now, and eat. Lucky the cafeteria was still open and Cathy bought me a sandwich to go with my apple juice. But more teaching they showed me how to keep it clean and re-dress it in a couple of days. Clap-clap all done head for home. 

So tonight it is pretty swollen, I was told to put ice on it ( I as scared of heat after I burnt myself after my surgery). But the cold makes me so cold, so I am sitting on my heating blanket with a ice pack on my chest, and my shawl, in my rocking chair, with my bald head. Oh my gawd what I sight. Did I say cancer sucks ? 

The nurse said no sleeping on my right side now,and no sleeping on my stomach..I was like really, in the last year I have had so many sleeping rules. I am a stomach sleeper, I have maybe been sleeping on my tummy for about 2 weeks. This last year I couldn’t sleep on my side or my stomach, first because of my kidney cancer, then because of my broken pelvis, then because I had both breasts removed. They take everything from you. That was the hardest part of the day. Oh no that wasn’t, it was the fact the nurse said no exercising, I was like really, damned, I am such a exercise person I am going to miss that. But all in the name of getting better ” right”. ( my sisters, and family, and friends are laughing here, because I have never in my life been an exerciser) but the nurse didn’t know that. 

The nurse also told me to take it easy this weekend, no heavy lifting or any hard work. To bad I have such a heavy vacuum, guess that will have to wait until next week. So welcome to a Netflix weekend. 

One last thing, I was gifted a beautiful blanket from a friend today, she made it. It is quilted all the sewing on the quilted part is hearts,one side is cloth the other is soft and fuzzy like a baby blanket, this blanket is to take to chemo..because you get so cold while they put all that toxic stuff into you. I am so going to enjoy wrapping myself up in this beautiful piece of art. Thanks so much Connie I love it and appreciate the work you put into it. 😊

I also need to thank Cindy who drove me into Edmonton today so that Cathy didn’t have to make two trips. The kindness of people just amazes me. I am so glad I live in a small town where people are so willing to help. Thanks Cindy 😊

My little saying, this one goes to friends and family :  Family and Friends are Angels who lift us to our Feet When our Wings Have Trouble Remembering How to Fly.  My wings have been a little ruffled lately, without all my family and friends I would never have been able to get through this last year. I thank you all, you know who you are. ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Beth 😇