March 6/2017 

Tomorrow is round two of chemo. Not looking forward to it, but I know it is a means to the end.  I just don’t like the being sick after. Hard to believe already round two. I go into this round with a lot more knowledge.  I now know what to expect, what it all looks like, and how it will affect me. I am hoping that things go smoother this time with the port. I am also a little worried about them using the port. Because it is far from healed and pretty brused.  I am not even sure where it is I can’t see it. But I know it’s there.  Lol lol 

A wild ride today. I was supposed to go into the cross for blood tests today. But with the ugly weather this morning I called the cross to see if I could do my blood in Gibbons. I talked to my oncologists nurse, she said oh yea no need to go out on these roads I can set it up for you to go to Gibbons.  So she did !!!  I get to the lab in Gibbons, first off the lab tech could not find my doctor in the library of doctors he had. So he drew the blood and said it would just show up on the web.  I am like this sounds ” not good”.  I came back home and just as I walked in the door I get a call from the cross. The nurse says you are late for you appointment,  I told her I had talked to the nurse and set it up to do it in Gibbons. Guess what ” NO NO NO NO “. They don’t do that.  Of course they don’t. I had to get my butt In gear and get into the cross now !    Off I go.  I get there and they cleared up the problem. That  poor nurse was In trouble for telling me it was ok. I felt bad “NOT”. They keep telling me that the cross is a well oiled wheel, it runs perfectly. At least 5 different people from 5 different areas have told me that. I think the wheel has a flat tire, no amount of oil is going to make it run.  Anyway, now my blood test does not show up from Gibbons so I have to re-do it. Then wait for it to get processed. Finally I see the doctor. He says all good you can have your chemo tomorrow. My mouth fell open, I know it did. I said is that all he said yup. Good luck tomorrow. 

Yup !! You need to be in the medical system to just see how crazy it is. I don’t believe it is all their fault. There never seems to be enough help. I see that. Line ups for everything you need or do. I see that too.  But sometimes I think some of them need to remember we are patients not just a number or a cancer person. Because we feel scared and confused and like our whole world is being turned upside down. We need someone to tell us what is happening and then that does happen. I feel so totally confused all the time.  I wonder if they are giving me the right stuff, or enough of it, at the right time. I am a person with cancer, but it is not who I am. 

Tomorrow I start my second chemo and a step closer to being cancer free. I look forward to the day when this is all done. Where I go back to just being me 😊

Tonight’s little saying. Rings so true for me : I smile and act like nothing is wrong sometimes, it’s called dealing with shit and staying strong.              That’s me 😘

Beth 😇