March 8/2017 

Round two of chemo down for the count. The nurse called my chemo drugs the ” The Red Devil ” because it is red and it is like putting the devil into your body. Not very comforting I thought, but at this point what do I do ?  I need it. 

My friend Lyla drove me into the links clinc yesterday because I needed to see my family doctor before the cross. I was in desperate need for something new to help with my severe restless legs. I did get a new med and success last night. I can’t tell you how great I felt after a nights sleep last night.  I felt like a new person today.  Got all kinds of things done today that I have put off because I was so tired every day before  I couldn’t do anything. I was getting 2 to 3 hours sleep a night. It was so wearing on me. Hopefully this new med continues to work. And thanks Lyla for the ride 🚗 I have sure been luck with friends stepping up for me. I can’t say that enough. 💜💛

We got to the cross yesterday and went by the wig place I got a new wig.  Not sure if I will be brave enough to wear it out. But it is pretty cute, if I do say so myself. There were two little older ladies working there, one tells me that everyone who works at the wig shop has had cancer except these two ladies, made me laugh a little. FYI info I guess. Then we went up stairs to the little store where I bough a couple new hats and a scarf at  $140.00 worth, so much for saving money on hair cuts, colors, and products. Those little hats are very expensive….when I said to the lady at the till these little hats are expensive she said, yes but they are so cute !!!!!! Really !!!!!  have you  ” EVER ” seen anyone after their hair grows back running around in these dorky little “”cute”” hats or scarves tied on their heads. NO me either. Point made. 

Then off to the front desk to check in with my red card to get my green paper. Must never forget that green paper, I have learned that is a big mistake. I start to leave with my green paper in hand, instructions on where to go for the red devil, I get the penthouse again, I think that is a good thing, but really your getting chemo so how good can it be ? Then the desk clerk says oh wait wait, I need to give you your appointments for next time. No biggie I get that and off to the penthouse. 

We get there, yes we are a little early but half the place is empty, they send me to the waiting room while they get a chair ready. ” OK”. You need to see this waiting room it is decorated with pumpkins for Halloween and fall leaves and flower wreaths made of all fall colours all like it is fall. Like does nobody there realize it is winter. I could even understand Christmas decorations. But they are behind like 3 holidays already, someone needs to get on that. Might be a project for me after this is all done, I am sure I could be a little more current than 3 holidays behind.  Anyway finally I get my chair, first thing the nurse gives me is a copy of my appointments for next time. Yup..same one as I just got down stairs. That well oiled wheel, sure does have some squeaks in it.   Just sayin.  

Then comes the chemo drugs. This time I get 4 Red Devils. And one white devil, then 2 bags of more drugs. Wow is there ever a lot. I am asking question, all the time , why so much, why more than last time, why so much intervenious this time. Then I start to question about my port that is very very brused yet and pretty sore. I want to know if it will hurt, the nurse says yes it probably will. Much to my surprise it dosent hurt at all. Yippie. After all my questions about all the drugs and yes a little whining, worry about the port hurting, we meet a mother whose son is in the next chair to me. We strike up a conversation, her son who looks very un-well I must say. He is there for bone cancer he has had it since he was 16 he is now 19 this is his 37th chemo treatment and third relapse. It broke my heart, I would do this over and over to save my children or grandchildren from ever, ever going through this. This poor Mom looked totally woren out to, but there she was right at her sons side. Very heart warming. Even at 19 he is still her baby ❤️

Speaking of sons I had to have a little talk with mine today too. We have learned through Ava ‘s diabetis ( his baby girl 6 years old just found out in October she has  type 1 diabetis ) that me must always make her feel like normal , like she is normal little girl. We all work hard at doing that. Then today we are talking and he looses service , working in the bush does that.  Anyway he texts me saying sorry I was talking about me and my troubles , you are sick you don’t need to hear about me. I was not happy. Yes I have cancer but he will always be my son, my child, and I will always be there to listen. Cancer did not take my ears away ( (not yet anyway ) lol lol  we had a little talk when his phone service came back.  So we got that figured out,  right Mac?  Love you to the Moon and Back 

I got through day one pretty good, very little nausea   Absolutely tolerable, I sure hope it lasts. Just need a couple days to get this red devil through my system. Oh yea the last bit of peach fuzz of hair I had left is falling out. I now have patches that are really clean cut. Feels so weird. If the mirror at the end of my hallway that heads straight to my bedroom, wasn’t screwed to the wall I think I would have taken it down by now. It scares the shit out of me every time I go down that hallway with nothing on my head, I question if it is really me. I can’t believe how small my head looks. Is it really to small for my body, it sure looks like it. I wonder if other people feel that way too.  

Tonight’s little saying : as you can tell my now. I love all kinds of little sayings. I think they are speaking to me or about me. Hope you enjoy…….

When you Can’t Control what’s happening…..Challenge Yourself, to control the way you respond to Whats Happening…… that is where , Your Power Is 

Beth 😇