March 15/2017 

Today was day three of feeling so sick, it really starts to get to you. I have gone through all my books and binder and notes to see if there is anything for a quick cure for this nausea, “NOPE” nothing, just have to go through it. So go through it I am. I truly understand why people say they don’t want to do the chemo, how it disrupts their life. Oh boy does it disrupt your life. I have no strength to do anything either. I had a bath this morning then needed to lay down and have a rest, I also did a couple of loads of wash, it took all day to wash, dry, fold, then iron. I almost skipped the ironing anyone who knows me knows that is so important to me. About 5:30 I got the strength up and got it done. I plan on wearing PJ’s for the next week laundry is just to much work. 👚👔👗👖

My Jamie has been gone for two months now, he sure won’t be returning home to the same person he left. First off the bald is beautiful thing, I am rocking it, and he has seen it when we FaceTime every night but up close it is a New Me. Lol lol  The heat in this house will drive him right crazy he is going to need to wear tanks and shorts in the house with me  I am cold all the time, keeping the heat at 73/74 degrees and I am still cold. Wearing a sweater and sitting on my heated blanket with my shawl. I really think it is the bald head. I am loosing heat out the top. Lol lol  one thing about Jamie and I when he is home we go everywhere together, even if it is Princess Auto, ( not my favourite place) or Old Navy, and Reitmans ( not his favourite place) but we do it together. Now getting up and getting dressed ready for the day takes me 1/2 the day. My energy is at a all time low. Lucky he loves me and I love him. We have some new hurdles to get through together when you get home honey   👫

Anybody out there in breast cancer land I have a question? When you lost your hair did you have to bick-it to get rid of the last fuzz ?  The little bit I do have left is very patchy but it actually hurts. I feel like it is little needles when I move my head back and forth on my pillow at night. I need to keep washing my hats to get the little pieces of hair needles out. I am still using the sticky roller for clothes on my head but it is not taking it all out. I am a little scared to razor it because my head is actually very sore.  So if anyone has an answer I could use a little knowledge here. Thanks in advance 💇🏼

Lately I have found myself really missing my Mom, you know that thing when you are sick and all you want is your Mom. That’s me right now. Miss you Mom ❤️😘  lucky for me I have two of the greatest sisters anyone could ever,ever ask for, who are really giving me the care and attention as if I had my Mom here. Cathy came for a visit today and dried a few tears of frustration for me,she helepd me perk up and go forward for another day. Lynne working full time still stops up ever other day or so and they both phone me every single day for a much needed pep talk. I thank you both from the bottom of my heart, to the tip of my bald head for always being there for me. I love you sisters  ❤️❤️

I still have the taste of burnt tires in my mouth, I really believe if that would go away I could feel better. Or at least here’s hoping. Hard to enjoy a meal if it always tastes like  eating burnt rubber     Lol lol. Even with all this being sick and eating very little, no junk food at all ( I don’t want to spoil it so I never like my junk food again) I have not lost not one pound. Now how unfair is that? Cancer is really cruel, at least it could make me skinny. Lol lol I plan on hiding the weigh scale because that thing is going to make me very depressed,!!!!😢

I found this little saying, I am pretty sure if my Mom was here she would be saying this to me….. I know you are tired. I know you are physically and emotionally drained. But you have to Keep Going.     Yes Mom I know, and I promise I will keep fighting.  ❤️

Beth ❤️