March 23/2017

I am going to keep my blog real ….. With that I will say these last two weeks have been hell. I had a few good days right after chemo last time then all hell broke loose. I spent a whole week at home so nauseous that I could hardly get off the couch or my rocker chair.  A very long week of being sick. Then last Friday I started to get the next side effect, not a nice one to talk about but the truth is I  have the most severe cases of diaheria a person can get  I could not leave the house. I was from couch to toilet🚽to chair to toilet🚽to bed to toilet🚽 As you can see lots of toilet🚽. Tomorrow will be a week since it started, and it is ready wearing on me. As I am sure anyone can understand two weeks of not being able to leave my house is hard to take. I am a wee bit whinny, ok really I am a lot whinney. 

The hardest part of all this is that I go back for chemo on Tuesday again,I am still having side effects from the last batch of chemo. Hard to drag myself back there for more torture. Even though I know I have to do it. I can say for a fact I don’t want to do it. But I will. I just hope and pray this time this chemo does not hit me so hard. But there are no guarantees 

I have had lots of time for soul searching, I really want to get back into my life, I feel like I am looking through a window…..like a sick child looking out a window where other kids are playing and enjoying life and you can’t go out. I expected chemo to give me a few rough days but two full weeks, plus of the three weeks between treatments is just to much. This next treatment is the last of three, then I get three more treatments with different drugs. So I am hoping the last three are a breeze 😬 I feel a little bit like my body is rejecting all this poison. I need to talk to my oncologist on Monday to see if this much being sick is “normal”. I hope she will have some answers. 

I have watched so much TV these last two weeks I am all caught up on everyone of my shows. Even ones that I taped to watch only if I had a free evening. I have also caught up on sleep which is a good thing for me too. It seems when I am laying down my stomach is at rest too. So I am trying to do lots of laying down. Yup lots of whining this blog. 

Tomorrow is another day, and each day I hope things will be better so here is to tomorrow being the turn around so I get a good weekend in. Before I start round three of chemo 👍🏻🏋🏼

This little saying seems so appropriate for me this week: Don’t Forget That You’re Human. It’s Okay To Have A Melt Down. Just Don’t Unpack And Live There. Cry It Out And Then Refocus On Where You Are Headed. ❤️

Beth 😇