March 26/2017 

Although I am trying to keep my blog real. I am finding it hard to write anything these days. It is hard when you have so much doom and gloom. It has been 10 days of being sick. I am getting really run down and tired of being so stuck to my house. But I have been that sick that going out is impossible. I am sure not liking this round of chemo and I am praying that the next one on Tuesday is better. 

I have had  some good friends stop by and bring things,like a plant of daffodils thanks so much Mickey I can’t wait to be able to get outside and plant them. Also some flowers from Rhonda tulips that have opened up beautifully, then a friend of BJ’s, Brandy sent me a wax burner for breast cancer with wax to burn an all. Thanks so much to everyone for all the messages and calls I really do appreciate, every one. The days have been long and these are the bright spots in my dreary days. 

Today my sister Cathy and her husband Des just drove out to Check up on me . She said she just had to see the whites of my eyes. They also brought me some much appreciated watermelon. I wanted to go out all week to get some, but it was just not happening. 

Tomorrow I go to see my oncologist, I have some “BIG” questions for him ( I got a new oncologist, no one knows why, I just did) I am worried about getting out of the house, I can’t be far from a bathroom, so I hope I can get there ok. I need a few answers about how sick I have been this whole three weeks, there has to be something they can give me. Something to get through the days better. I have talked to lots of other people who actually led pretty normal lives through chemo. I can take a few sick days, but as I continue to whine on here. I am at my limit. I don’t know many people who would not be?  God help me it has to get better than this. 🙏🏼

One good thing is I am getting lots of sleep. My stomach is at its best when I am laying down, I fall asleep at least 2 to 3 times a day. Just little cat naps but I keep thinking if I could just sleep through the pain.. But it is hard to do anything while laying down. Luckily with only me here my house is not getting messy. I think sleep is the best medicine, or at least I am going with that!!!!!!! Works for now😊

I did get a little fresh air today. Around 4pm the sun was shining on the front step. So I just went out side and let the sun just shine on my face, it felt so good, it was so warm,I felt at peace, for the first time in a long time.  I need to do that everyday if only for a few minutes. Our sun is starting to pack some power finally, I want to suck it all up. I need some sun too, wow, am I ever white. You need sunglasses on to walk beside me when I am outside right now. It even freeked me out a little.  Lol lol 

I have also watched so many HGTV, FYI, TLC,and DIY programs. That when I am finally done all this chemo and radiation stuff I am going to re-do the whole inside of my house. I am going to tear down walls and re-paint and re-decorate everything. I hope Jamie dosent read this blog tonight he might not like my idea. I will keep you posted, pretty sure I can do it all by myself now too. Plumming, electrical, tearing down walls, all looks easy. Can’t wait to start. 😊😊😊

Keeping it real, sorry about all the whining, but it truly is how I am feeling. Hoping this week gets better😘

Word of the day: Exhaustipated…(adj)… Too tired to give a shit. 

Beth 😇