April 20/2017
I swear you can not make these shit up.
Today is a tough day for my family, even 21 years after BJ died I still grieve for him everyday. I know people will think that is not possible, but I am here to tell you it is . Grief never ever goes away you just learn to live with it and to cope a little bit better everyday. We have become pro’s in our house at changing the mask to wear the one we need each day to face the world. But when we are home safe with each other we can take our masks off and be our selves and let it all come pouring out. We don’t seem to cry as much as we did in the first few years after BJ died. But still some days !!! Our pain comes rolling down our cheeks. A song a show a licence plate so many things can trigger a BJ moment as we call them. These moments used to scare me, now I treasure them. Time makes it so you can cope better, and I say thank goodness because if you lived in that fresh grief as you have at the beginning, that painful, painful grief you could surly die from the pain of grief. That is all I will say on this. I just felt that this so important day in our lives needed to be mentioned in my blog today. BJ is now and will always be a big part of our lives. Today and every day he is truly missed 😇❤️
More on my shit show….. I got myself all tucked in to bed took my evening meds and fell asleep around 9 pm. I was not feeling well tonight the diarrhea came back and I was very naucious. So I decided to just go to sleep. Then at 9:45 my door opens and the light comes on. A nurse comes in and says you are not going to be happy to see me. I am wiping my eyes, like what are you talking about? She says we have to move you to another room. I am what I was already sleeping. She says sorry get up and pack your stuff we need this room for some more sick than you. I said how do you know how sick I am? She had bags and was throwing all my stuff into bags as I was trying to wake up. My first mistake I should have refused to go !!!!!! Anyway the next thing I know I am in a wheelchair moving to a different ward a different floor. I get to my room it is a room for 2 beds but they have a cot like I got in emergency between the two beds no bedside table to put your stuff barley enough room to walk between the beds. I am like you are not really moving me here are you. I said I have coverage can I at least get a semi private room?
The nurse tells me they are all full up and this is it for tonight. Not even closet space my bag goes under my bed. There is a lady ( I thought was a man ) because she is snoring so loud to my left and a lady to my right has a bad cough. My white blood counts are at a all time low they told me I can catch anything now so I have to be careful. Then they move me with a sick person. I started to cry I said I want to talk to my doctor “NOW”. Get her on the phone. They said there is nothing she can do for you. I want to go home. I even called Jamie crying I said I have had enough I tell him the story I said I want to come home. It is now 10 pm. But I know I need some meds to go home with too. I am crying so hard now it is ridiculous I have Cathy on text telling her my story. Jamie and Cathy are just stunned that they can do this at night when I am alone again. I tell Jamie I will call him back as soon as I talk to my dr to give me meds to go home with. But to wait by the phone because I am coming home tonight. I am sitting on my bed crying. The head nurse comes in and says they are moving me to a private room as per my doctors request all of a sudden there is a room. I call Jamie and Cathy and tell them I am ok until morning. But they are not getting another chance to do this to me. I am going home tomorrow.
It is now 10:45 and I am still waiting to be moved, I am sitting on the edge of my cot feet hanging over, tears running down my face because of this shit show and because today I miss BJ. When is this nightmare I call my life going to get better ? Hopefully I get my bed soon ?
Tonight’s saying : We are grateful for the memories,and for all those who help us to remember him 😘
Beth 😇
2 Things We Can Live Without 
Beth I am so sorry this is happening to you. 😂Hopefully tomorrow will be better. Hugs😘
LikeLiked by 1 person
I also want to tell you that I live in downtown Edmonton so if you need my help with anything I can be there in no time.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Wow! There are no words 😶 shit show sums it up! And hugs 🤗
LikeLiked by 1 person
Hello everyone – this is Beth’s friend Angie from southern Alberta. If you’re reading this you have read Beth’s latest blog. I believe it is time for us to try to support Beth publicly in writing and/or vocally to various government or other offices. I did email her directly when I read the blog early this morning and her last comment to me was “just so done”. Those 3 words make me very angry towards Alberta Health Services!
We need to help her and her family however we can as this has really got to stop. I cannot imagine being in a hospital after being told that I have kidney cancer, having kidney removal surgery, a broken/shattered pelvis, breast cancer diagnosis, double mastectomy, chemo, …. the list just goes on (all in such a short time) … and then constantly being treated so horribly – can you? What would you do if she was your family member?
I do not want to use Beth’s blog to interact further as it would most likely jeopardize her “blog” so I am only asking this once from whoever can help …… PLEASE do not respond to me via this blog.
We have the following people to contact: 1. The Honourable Sarah Marjorie Hoffman, current Deputy Premier of Alberta and Minister of Health; 2. The Alberta Ombudsman (Peter Hourihan). The Ombudsman “responds to complaints of unfair treatment by provincial government authorities and designated professional organizations”; 3. The Health Quality Council of Alberta (HQCA) – it “focuses on promoting and improving health service quality and patient safety at a broad system level … and it is “mandated by the Health Quality Council of Alberta Act”; 4. The Health Advocate – “has authority under the Alberta Health Act to review situations where someone is believed to have acted in a manner that is inconsistent with the principles set out in the Alberta Health Charter”; 5. Patients Canada – “The AHS is responsible for receiving, investigating, and responding to complaints regarding the services afforded to patients as per the Patients Concerns Process Regulation (Alberta Regulation 124/2006); 6. .The MLA for Gibbons – I am not sure who that is but can find out; and 6. There is also W5.
I will be preparing a letter on her behalf outlining to these offices how she has been treated by many “health professionals”. It would be good to swarm their offices with letters and/or phone calls.
Many of us either know someone directly or indirectly that we can ask for direction and/or guidance.
It’s time to help our friend in a different way now.
Remember – strength in numbers. The more we all communicate, the more attention we will make.
LikeLiked by 1 person
We hear you Angie! We will do as you say. Very good idea! Beth has been through enough!
Having had some of the same over he years we need to group together!
I will be writing these people! Hands up for Beth!!
Debbie M.
LikeLiked by 1 person
My heart is truly with you Beth! I hope things have worked out for you today and things are better
than yesterday/last night! Remember there are more caring and compassionate nurses and doctors
than what you dealt with last night. Unfortunately the few there are always find the people who are
needing the campasionate care, like you. There are always one or two in every ward.
Thank goodness you have many, many people who love and care for you and will always fight
for you! Wishing you better days ahead, you deserve it!
Love always
Debbie M.
LikeLiked by 1 person
Oh my goodness Beth you poor little thing. Your last two entries made me cry. I can’t even imagine the pain and suffering you are going through. Some people are so heartless. I know you can stand up for yourself but it helps to have an advocate. Thank heavens for Jamie and your amazing sisters. Wish I was closer so I could do something to help. Meanwhile, I will keep you and your family in my prayers. You will come out of this an even stronger person Beth. There are brighter days ahead especially with your darling Grandaughters. Lorraine 💞💓
LikeLiked by 1 person