October 10/2017

I am enjoying my time here in Fort St John with Jamie and my boys. After my crazy flight delay problems, I finally got here about 5 pm on Friday. I was supposed to be here at 11:50 am. A very long day, that day but well worth it. 

I left here on the long weekend of September, to go to Mexico, it still felt like summer time it was nice and warm, still shorts weather. I have come back to cold weather, we even had a few snow flakes today. The trailer is a lot colder too. The furnace is running a lot and so is the fireplace. But it still feels good to be here. I told Jamie I was tired of spending so much time alone. Although my guys are working a lot and long days, as the job winds down. They are still home at night,and we get to eat together. Also spend a couple hours together  before they all head off to bed, 4:30am comes pretty quick. I spend my days deciding what to make for supper and doing the shopping to make it. But it does pass the time. So happy to be here. ❤️❤️

I went to pay the rent today and the lady at the front office told me they had a no refunds policy.  I was like what ??? We don’t know how much longer we will be here, one week , two weeks, or three weeks.  I don’t want to pay for a month if I can’t get a refund. So I thought I will pay for two weeks at a time. But the price weekly is double as per monthly. The office lady just works here she dosent own it.  So I got on the phone with my friend “Angie”. She can figure everything out.  She found the name of the company who owned the trailer park and I called. Of course …… I could not find anyone who could help so I asked the third girl if I could leave a message for the owner to phone me. I really thought he wouldn’t, but he did call. I told him the reason for my call. That we have been here for 5 months, my whole family and my brother in law and nephew, plus a lot of other guys from the job. I told him I didn’t like his policy, he was so great he said because we had been here so long he would be happy to accomidate us and we can get refunds if we don’t make the month.  One proud girl tonight. I told my boys what I did they said….we had no doubt Mom you would get it worked out. Yup !!! I sure did.  Thanks for the help from my friend Angie too. 👍🏻

I found a gas station here that does full service, man I can’t remember the last time I saw one of those. It was so cold and windy today wS great to drive up and say fill her up please. And then he even did the windows !  But with gas at $1.18 I guess they could at least fill it up and do the windows. Lol lol 

I am doing good on my hoxey diet. The special diet I am following from my doctors in Mexico. Actually Jamie and Mac are following it at meal times too. They just don’t know it. Because I am cooking all our meals with no flour no sugar and no salt they have never even noticed. I am also following gluten free, and I have made pasta and we are eating gluten free bread. They never realized that either. Just shows you that it is easier than you think if you want to stay healthy. I hope they don’t read this tomorrow. 

I had a small turkey dinner yesterday for Thanksgiving. It was just Jamie, Mac, Gordon, Jen and me. But it was just the right amount of people. I cooked the whole meal hoxey, and gluten free. I made gravy with gluten free flour too, and nobody even noticed . I might just have this hoxey diet mastered  👍🏻

I have a lot to be thankful for this year. Just the fact that I am still here, that I am alive. I had two different cancers last year, I had two major surgeries. Then I went through chemo and radiation both this year. And then I found a clinic in Mexico that gave me back my quality of life. That is some track record in one year I think. I am also so thankful for my family who all stood beside me and with me through all my diagnoses, my surgeries, and my treatments. I could not have done all this without each and every one of you. I love you all, and I thank you from the bottom of my heart ❤️

Tomorrow is a rough day for me, and for my family. It would have been “BJ’s” birthday …”BJ” would be “37” years old. I can not even begin to tell you the pain I feel haveing 22 birthdays without him. He is the one who made me a mother, and I was so proud to be his Mom. I am still proud to be his Mom. I talk about him all the time,to anyone who will listen. We all miss him so terriably much. I will say that time has eased the pain for everyday living, but his birthdays and his death day are still almost unbearable. I don’t like to think of all the things he is missing here. He would be so proud of his brother Mac, for being such a great Daddy and a terrific Son. He loved kids so much, he would have love his nieces and nephews, and Jolee and her kids too. I just know it. I wonder if he would be working here along side Jamie, Mac, and Gordon. I like to think so. I truly believe he will be looking down on all of us tomorrow and giveing us strength to make it through yet another long and difficult year here without him. I was so lucky to be his Mom, I will be sure he is remember by all of us, until the day I die 😘 love you forever BJ ❤️ I’m the lucky one who knew you, who still loves you, whose life will forever be divided into before and after, because of you..😘

Today’s saying : Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All the unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in the hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go. 

Beth 😇