It has been quite the new year for us. Jamie started a new job and is headed back to BC. Fraser Lakes to be exact. I know nobody knows where it is ?? It is about 1 1/2 hours from Prince George BC on the Yellowhead highway. About 7 hours as the crow flies from Edson but about 9 hours to drive. The only bad thing is it is far away from family again. The good thing is they can all come see me in beautiful British Columbia this summer. Lol lol Now let’s see who really does come.

It has now been a year since my Dad died. My sisters ( and best friends) and I have really done a great job at staying close. We have keep in touch with each other through phone calls, text, FaceTime, and on the few rare occasions when we could actually see each other we did. Both my sisters came and spent a weekend with me in Edson, it was so awesome we laughed and cried and reminisced about our family as kids. It is an awful feeling when both your parents have passed away. We became grown-up orphans but none the less orphans. We need to always stay in touch and to keep all our kids and grandkids close. It was so important to our Mom and also Dad. As it has become important to us as well. Family is the most important thing ever. As we start to loose family members this becomes even more apparent . ❤️❤️ I am so lucky to have the best sisters ever. The greatest gift our parents ever gave us was each other ❤️❤️❤️

I have spent a lot of time alone this past few months. Although I have spent lots of time alone over the years I am finding it particularly hard right now. I guess because Jamie and I have been together for the last two years everyday. I am really missing him . It seems to have been a long cold winter and that’s not helping. Our plan was for me to come join Jamie in BC around the beginning of April. But I don’t see that happening now because we have had so much snow the trailer is buried. I need some nice weather and a big melt. Hopefully I can go join him by May first. Fingers crossed 🤞🏻

March first was 6 years since I was diagnosed with my first cancer, kidney cancer. I can hardly believe it is 6 years already. I am feeling good and following my Mexico doctors orders and staying on my hoxsey diet. I do one month on and one month off. It is a bit of a break to always being on it. 🙃 cancer sucks 🤬

April is another month that I always dread. Our BJ will be gone for 26 years this year. I remember so vividly when he first died. I thought I would never survive a day, a week, a month, a year, then the next thing I know it’s 26 long, long years. Of missing him everyday……. day in and day out. An unbearable pain some days. I didn’t realize you could feel that much pain and still be alive. It’s a lie when people say time heals. It does not heal. You just learn to live with the horrible truth. The fact your precious child is never ever coming back. When you have a child it exposes places in your heart that you didn’t know existed. Losing a child does the same thing. Here is a saying I love : Just because someone seems to wear their grief well, doesn’t mean they still aren’t in pain………..Miss you “BJ” forever. ❤️

I really am proud of myself I’ve survived some of the most difficult things in life even when I thought I couldn’t. Of course I have had a very strong support system, that has held my hands on my difficult days, my heart on my broken days , and my body when I was unable to stand alone. I have not said thank you near enough to all of them, I hope they know how much I love them. Because I know that if I was standing alone I would not be here as I am now. Jamie and Mac have seen me in my worst pain and put there’s aside to help me. When I couldn’t help myself. I always thought I would just get over it at sometime. I now know there is no getting over it. This is a lifetime sentence for all of us. Grief last forever. 💔

I also love this saying. It so describes me: I have been many women in my lifetime. I have been the protector and the provider, I have been the lover and the fighter, but the woman within I value the most will always be the survivor. 💪🏻

Today’s saying : None of us sits high enough to look down on anybody.

#2: Bedtime is the leading cause of dehydration in children.

Beth 😇