December 26/2016

We had a beautiful Christmas Day. All my family was gathered together at Mac’s house. We had some great food a 32 lb turkey cooked and taken very good care of by Mac and a ham thT was cooked to perfection by Cathy. Lynne brought her famous meat pies, her and Marc make. Then everyone else chipped in with veggies and salads and buns. It was a feast  fit for kings and queens. Which we all felt like for sure. 

We did a few really fun games and Mac and Marc won our second annual crib tournament. ( Cathy are I were last years winners) We also played a game called Speak Out that had us all in belly roll laughs. All in all it was a great Christmas Day had by all. 

I made it through the day too. It was a long day but so glad I went. I was a little worried when my surgery was Monday if I would feel up to Christmas only 6 days later on Sunday. But I went and with help from everyone I did very little, mostly sitting and lots of observation. I payed so much attention to everyone and all they did. I saw all our family traditions go smoothly throughout the day. Christmas Day was always a big day in my family. My Mom would love to see us all getting along so good and spending that one very special day together.  It was so important to her. It so important to me this year too….             ( Christmas Day was my Mom’s birthday and she always put that aside and let her daughters have a wonderful day despite it was supposed to be “HER” special day) I looked around the room a few times and I could see her in so many of us. My sister Lynne looks so much like her, it felt at times it was my Mom in the kitchen in a Christmas apron cooking and stirring the food. My sister Cathy was in her Christmas apron too organizing getting the bowls and spoons ready all the platters for the meat ready. ( looking downstairs in Mac’s collection for the right dishes to use. Some were even old dishes that were my Mom’s ). My Jamie cutting the ham and turkey up just right, my Mom was fussy about how they were carved because she was the butcher in the family. Jamie did her proud yesterday. The rest of my family helped set the tables and chairs put the table clothes on and plates and napkins all set nicely. When we went to sit down nobody counted how many places to set. And there was 20 of us but about 29 places settings. We were spreads very far apart. We all got a good chuckle out of that too. I felt her presence all day. 

We were also missing another important person at dinner again this year. “BJ”. I saw him throught the day too. He was always so gentle and kind and patient. ( Mac might disagree a little with this as his little brother lol)  I saw my nephew Landry helping my grandson get his new birthday present ( yes his birthday is Christmas Eve 13 years ago) going, a helicopter thing that flew around the house. Landry has the patients to help the little ones learn the game rules, play the games, get the toys working all of the above. My nieces Lindsay and Danielle patiently letting my granddaughters  show them their dolls,and doing the new hair colours, Hannah got. Patiently as BJ would have been playing the games and teaching the rules too. ( that’s the part Mac might not like ) The grandkids were a part of all the games and fun this year thanks to everyone. Especially our ever patient teachers aid in the crowd Lynne❤️playing a kids round of each of the games. Thanks everyone 😘

My thoughts were that even after my Mom being gone so long. This year was 22 Christmas Days without her,also 21 Christmas days without BJ. So much of my Mom and BJ was still there in so much we still do. I am glad my Mom and BJ were never really totally missing from the day. We celebrate that both my Mom and BJ were once sitting at our dinner table where we have pictures of Mom and BJ proudly sitting on the dinner table with us all. 

When we got home and I went to bed mytears began to fall.  (I know that no one wants to say this or hear this. But after the rough year I had I wondered if I will be here for next Christmas. After you hear the word cancer once in your lifetime those thoughts go through your head. But I have had that word twice in 6 short months. You can’t help but think that way sometimes.) I cried because I believe that even if I was not there  next year ( and yes that is hard to say or hear) this Christnas was the best one ever. I think, no I know, I too will be remembered. Because my family keeps our Angels alive in our Christmas ever year. 

This is not a pity feeling I have. I don’t want any pity. Actually quite the opposite. My tears were for happiness. That not all people are as lucky as me. I have the most wonderful family in the world. I “DO” know how lucky I am. Thanks to all of them for giving me a pass yesterday and letting me rest and relax for the day.  I will make up for it next year. I love you each and everyone. To The Moon and Back. Always. ❌⭕️❤️

Beth 😇