February 17/2017
Well where do I start? Having a few side effects after my first treatment of chemo. Nothing to bed yet. Very tired but can’t seem to get a good nights sleep, I feel very anxious, I am sure because of all the drugs in my system. I try to fall asleep all night but just keep watching the clock. Makes for long nights. The dark makes the middle of the night torture.
Of course the naucious has set in but they have given me lots of drugs to help with that. I can’t imagine how sick I could be without them. I am having some trouble with itchy hands and feet. Who knew that would happen. But it can almost drive me crazy. So much scratching. I need a rough post like a cat has. I did call the hotline today finall.and they told me to take antihistamine, has helped some. Hope it settles down soon
It feels like I am just sitting here waiting to see what next side effect is going to hit. There are just so many things that can happen. They give you sheets and sheets of side effects from the cross. I hope I don’t get then all !!!!
I also have all kinds of pamphlets to fill out they need me to keep a close copy of all the things I am going through. Hopefully to help someone else one day. If I had my way I would never want another human being to “EVER” go through any of this again. Breast cancer, double mastectomy, chemo, and I haven’t even started radiation. It is really a cruel thing to put the human body through. And I know that many have been through this before me and survived it all. But somehow I feel very alone. Like nobody has been through my journey. I guess that is because it is so very true. Each of us will feel these drugs and side effects differently. I pray to God mine do not get to bad.
Thanks to everyone for all the calls and messages. I really feel all the love truly I do. It really does help with the low moments I do have. I feel like I need to see the low moments to really feel the good times too. Most of the time I am pretty up beat, but I would not be human if I didn’t have a few falls as I travel along this chemo treatment. I work hard to be upbeat. And I will continue to do so. Because “I Got This” …………
I thank God for my sisters too. They have been my constant companions, staying with me and coming by all the time. Bringing food and treats and Lots and lots of love. Just what I need at this time. Also my guys while they are away working, I get numerous calls a day checking up on me. They keep me going between phone calls, sending love through the lines. I love you all and I know I have your support, thank you,thank you, thank you..❤️❤️❤️❤️
Finally I am heading into another day tomorrow, hopefully a few less symptoms and more sleep. But most of all another day into my recovery, and to getting cancer free.
My saying for today so appropriate….Be Patient. Sometimes you have to go through the worst to get to the best. Give it some time.
Beth 😇
2 Things We Can Live Without 
I’ve lamented about people saying you beat cancer, how can you still be down. There are cancers you never beat, you are told you are in remission. I wish people would understand, we are strong, we are positive, we are fighters and warriors. We do not give up. But sometimes this disease doesn’t give a shit what you’ve done, it still wants you. Sorry to vent, but it drives me nuts people don’t realize not only what we’ve been thru, but also that fear in the back of our minds that this bastard disease is gonna come back. If anyone knows of a slogan to post this, please let me know. I’m strong, I’m positive, but when I hear the word relapse, I wanna vomit, I wanna cry. I want people to understand our plight, we who fight this disease. You don’t take a cold pill, you don’t get a band aid, you get sick as hell, your body and mind ache, your family and friends hurt. I hate this disease, I wish those that don’t know what its like to have this disease could only understand what its really like , especially without having to get this disease. So, to my fellow warrior, I say I love you , we know, we continue the fight for our lives. Cancer f’ing sucks! Also hearing about friends who are diagnosed, breaks my heart. It is not always possible to be up, or positive at times. Thinking of you my friend!
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