May 4/2017

So where do I start? First of all it was one year ago today I had my left kidney removed because of cancer. That was the start of the change in my life, that I did not even see coming. How could I have? What a year I have had. 

So now as everyone knows I have been battling breast cancer. And battling is the best word for it. This has been one very rough journey. Chemo kicked my ass like nothing has ever done to me before in my life. Then on top of that I got diverticulitis, which wreaked caus on my stomach and bowels. I have been so sick that I had no quality of life. I layed on the couch or my bed constantly only going out to Dr appointments. I spent no time with family and friends. I was just to sick. Although I have wrote about it, my words in no way could tell everyone how really sick I was. I was really beginning to re-think my cancer diagnosis. I just didn’t know how I could go on with the next three rounds of chemo supposed to be harder on me than the first three. 

But the choice was not left up to me. On Monday when Jamie and I  went back to the Cross to see about starting my chemo again. My oncologist saw me and saw how sick I still was after delaying chemo a week already. My stomach was still very upset and I was still sick with constant diarrhea ( keeping it real) he did a diagnosis on me and told us my body could not take anymore chemo. Basically he told us to go home and live my life as best as I could with whatever time I had left. Jamie and I walked out of the cross on Monday afternoon holding hands and tears streaming down both our faces. What do we do now?  We were both in total shock, and very scared. 

After some soul searching and some very much appreciated talks and time with my sisters and my boys.. We decided to not give up and that I would try some alternative medical treatments. We are currently looking into a few different options as to what we can do now. I promise I will write on here once we have made some decisions, on where we go from here. This is of course a difficult time for me and for my family, but I promise you I have the strongest support system behind me that anybody could ever have. And with all there help we will decide what course of action is going to be best for me and my family. 

So I hope everyone will keep me in there prayers.  I can use all the prayers I can get. I believe strongly in a higher power and I will be leaning on that to get me through the next few weeks, and or days. As we make some very tough choices to get me back to good health. Thanks to everyone for the support. ❤️❤️

Today’s saying : You are allowed to scream, you are allowed to cry, but do not give up on life. 

Beth 😇